funny dreadlocks jokes

258. The Mane House. What do you get when you mix a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a ghost? What is a gust of winds favorite color? Because when you find it, you stop looking. This is the first World Cup Final we havent been to together since we got married." How did the dinosaur build her house? What kind of fish loves going to battle? Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Wait a minute, the boy said. Why did the pony have to gargle? However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. 36. He eventually makes his way over to the bear. Because then it would be a foot. Whats the best way to burn 1000 calories? Leave the pizza in the oven. They have a lot of fans. Loss of memory. After 5 long years of studying, a student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting An eight-year old boy had never spoken a word. Why did the Football Coach go to the bank? A flat minor. 149. Then, the girl took two cookies and lied about it. A clock roach. What did the lawyer wear to court? Add spring water. The second redneck says, Oh yeah? One dragon goes, "Ooh, it's a bit hot in here." The other responds, "Well close your mouth then." 37. Now whats your final question?. Sarah Lemire is a lifestyle reporter at TODAY.com with more than a decade of experience writing across an array of channels including home, health, holidays, personal finance, shopping, food, fashion, travel and weddings. Theyre immediately taken back to a room. What did the traffic light say to the traffic light? What do you call spaghetti in disguise? To sing, Hello from the other side! In case they get a hole in one. Vel-crows. The Penultimate Warrior! 20 How do rednecks spend the first week of the school year? When its full. The doctor listened to his problems and told him that he should really visit a therapist instead of a doctor. 239. Fo drizzle. A Husband and Wife at Custody court. Watch while I prove it to you. The bear catches up to him, knocks him down on the ground, then gets on its knees and says, "Dear Lord, thank you for this food I am about to receive". 247. Its tricera-bottom! Why did Adele cross the road? 54. What did the tie say to the hat? Launch. They GoPro! A walk. He just told me that if I wanted to get a free haircut at the barbershop, I should come with him. 131. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? ", A guy said to God, "God, is it true that to you a billion years is like a second? 41. If you pronounce Uranus correctly (Eur-uh-nus) then this joke makes no sense A man is walking through the woods when he sees a bear charging at him.He books it, but he knows he can't outrun a bear for long, so he starts praying, "Dear Lord, I beseech thee. (Closed), I Am A Dog Photographer And I Love Taking Photos Of Cute Puppies Before They Grow Up (33 New Pics), Artist 'Invades' Major Capitals Around The World With Fluffy And Flossy Pink Drapes And The Result Is Adorable (56 Pics). 182. 2. He Neverlands. I think Im going to go to college.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_4',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_5',618,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-618{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. What do you call a fake father? A couple of hours into the flight she nervously announced, "Ladies and gentleman; we don't know how this happened, but we have over 400 people on board, but only 200 dinners. So in the morning, he calls 911 to come pick up the body. Climbing out of the wreckage, one redneck said to the other, Do you know where we are?, I think so, replied the other redneck. Lemon aid! The redneck cousin said OW MOTHERF***ER GET OFF MY FINGER!. Tied his hair to the chair and told him to get up. My girlfriend and I are trying this whole "long distance relationship" thing. What do you call someone who cant stick with a diet? 233. How do trees access the internet? Wrong. A Russian truckdriver stops at the back of a long queue on the motorway. What kind of bug can tell time? 276. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. Phillipe Phillope. How do celebrities stay cool? Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. "30 minutes later he's back in line at the ATM. But you need to wear these condoms to stop me from getting pregnant. So they have a Ball.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_6',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); A week later, one of these redneck farmers says to his mate: Are you still worried she got pregnant? His mate says: Naw, not really. Then he replies: LETS TAKE THESE CONDOMS OFF THEN., Two rednecks were sitting on a porch. 183. Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common? The baa-baa shop. What do you call sad coffee? I like elephants. Share. What do you call a musician with problems? Subscribe to Skip to my Lou to get new ideas delivered to your inbox. 198. Why did the clown always choose the red balloon? ", 400 passengers but only 200 meals were loaded onto a flight from Delhi to New York City. Really? What did one plate say to the other? With a pumpkin patch. 71. A Maybe. A big moron and a little moron were standing on a cliff. A man takes his sick Chihuahua to the veterinarian. Take it to the doc already. Is Google male or female? I just came in because of the blood. The first rule of the Alzheimers club is Wait, where are we again? Because they arrgh! The punchline is "I only came in because the light was on. Their bats flew away. I always pronounce one word wrong. What do sea monsters eat? What kind of music do planets like? No cellphone", says the second crow. 24. Whats orange and sounds like a carrot? Re-Morse code. Where do young trees go to learn? What breaks when you speak? My buddy got arrested on drug charges and because it was his first offense, he thought he would get off lightly, but it turned out his lawyer was one of the worst in the state and ended up botching his case, so instead of getting a short term, he ended up getting 40 years without parole! Print them off for free! One was named Trouble, while the other boy's name was Mind Your Own Business. Good friends don't let you do stupid things alone. The past, present and future . Knock! Here's what your email address says about your computer skills: Own domain (e.g., @methodshop.com): You're skilled and capable. What does a ghost wear to splash in puddles? 208. The handyman was wearing two heavy parkas on a hot summer day. She has lost all her matches!". 6) A player asked his golf coach: "What is going wrong with my game?". Hour you doing? Because he used up all his cache. He ordered some. 52. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Killing me. But when they attempted to take off and fly out of the valley, the little plane could not make it. Whats with this? What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? As long as you think it's an entrance, it'll continue to hurt. How did the blonde die ice fishing? "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long? So they dont peel. With a cow-culator. Very Rich Clay, what is your second wish? she screams, "I didn't know you were married before! Why shouldnt you write with a broken pencil? 14. 118. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); From hosting a shrimp boil, celebrating holidays, making homemade scratch art paper, sewing gifts and throwing parties to cooking delicious food, you will find it all here at Skip To My Lou. ", I was in a barbershop when a man and his young son walked in to get a haircut. 263. At the North Pole. Why did the dinosaur go to the doctor? The police said some heels started it. A deodor-ant. Ketchup. He pasta-way. What do Martians like to drink? 188. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. ", Nah. He saw a police car passing the neighborhood, so he stopped it to ask for help. Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. Because they have one eye! I went to this haunted house for exploration. It just didnt work out! A palm tree. You'll think I'm crazy until you should see me with my best friend. Wondering what is was for, he joined it. Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. "Beat it. ", Once during an adventure, a farmer named Bryan Clay stumbled into a cave and found a magic lamp. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. How do you make a tissue dance? Quick Lesson. "Patient: "Right around the entrance. They spray the rabbit with the bottle, and it comes back to life. A dragon sees two knights and sighs. The guy waited a bit and then started walking again. He ate the pizza before it was cool. What do you call a sleeping bull? While they were playing in their fort, one of the boys accidentally stepped in the redneck cousins finger. 173. Aw shucks! What does a triceratops sit on? ", A man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. Its called speedin.. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. 2. Thats terrible But couldnt you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbour to take her seat?" A cool joke about geography? When they get to the front gates of the school, the kid says, "Dad, you will remember to come and get me when I'm 18, won't you? So, what should you expect from these story jokes, you might ask? 174. Do you know why the other one didnt? "Hey, son! Why do oranges wear sunscreen? 163. Loafers. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant. After a few hours, the house painters came back for the payment as their work was complete. ", I had visited a cafe one day with my friends. Cricket. We've broken them down by category, but all the jokes are pretty punny we swear. That way they can both watch wrestling. How do you make holy water? He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly. Lack-Toast Intolerant. Dj brew. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, "The soup is cold. Now, the main question here is this - are you ready for our selection of only the best long jokes ever? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill? 100. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? Share a giggle with these funny jokes! Whats the best smelling insect? Donald Trump was walking through Manhattan and saw a long queue. To get his quarter back. During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento". They log in. You know that candy that has a funny joke printed on each wrapper. Because she ran away from the ball. We have even more jokes that are stupid but funny to share with you. You're ink-redable. Open-toad! They suspected foul play. 132. A tough old cowboy from Texas counseled his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning. Which state is the smartest? You will have to leave two behind.. 150. And if you have a house, you probably have a wife, and if you have a wife you must be a heterosexual!if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_11',619,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); Wow! Jim said, You found all that out just because I have a weed Wacker! The Dean nodded. Its your Vacuum Cleaner that you need to be worried about its been collecting dirt on you for years.